In Her Soul
by middiegurl08
Summary: She is lost and doesn't know where she is going. Where will she end up? What will she learn along the way? Oneshot


Where exactly does she go from here?

She stood outside the airport, staring out at the hectic parking lot. She was pulling one suitcase behind her and holding another bag in her hand. She was wearing a black, waist length jacket and faded blue jeans. She heard the sliding doors swoosh as different people walked through them and she watched the diverse people meet with their loved ones. Most had smiles plastered on their faces, for at least that moment in time happy and content with their lives.

She looked like she belonged there. Like she was just another person waiting for their loved one to pick them up… But she was lost and she felt so out of place. She wasn't even sure how she had ended up here. Things had been unbelievably stressful with the virus but things had finally settled back into some sort of normalcy.

But yet here she stood.

She awoke this morning and made a fast decision. Without thinking, she grabbed the phone, called the hospital, called the airport, and booked a flight.

Now here she hailed the nearest cab, put her luggage in the trunk and climbed in the back seat. But she didn't have anywhere to go. She didn't have any reservations…

"Will you just drive?" She asked the driver.

It was all a memory now. But the tiny town had changed. The lives of all the doctors and nurses had all been altered forever and there was no going back. Together, they had fought the enemy that had been threatening each of their families. They all watched as they lost one of their own; as families crumbled around them. And they had been powerless to stop it. They were fighting the unstoppable. But they didn't stop trying. Every doctor, nurse, and intern had been forever tainted by the numbing experience…

Why come here? Of all places, why here? She left hectic to come to wild and crazy. New York City. The town where dreams come true. You think of the United States, you think of New York City. There really wasn't anything that attracted her to the city itself. It was dirty and large, smelly and large, loud and large. She was small and quiet…the two just didn't match. It was a business city and definitely not somewhere a normal person would go to if looking for a peaceful vacation.

This was her living on the edge, not thinking, not planning ahead, and doing whatever on a whim. Patrick had always been right when he talked about her social life. She was too uptight and serious. She needed to let loose, have some fun. Maybe that was why she had made her way to here of all places. Patrick had suggested it.

_"You'd be surprised at how much you really would enjoy yourself, Robin." He said one day as the walked down the hall after checking in on one of their patients._

_"It's too big… there is no parking… it's so crowded…"_

_"But you aren't looking at all the good things that are offered." He pointed out. "There is amazing food and even better live shows. It is crowded but it adds to the feel. It makes you feel kind of safe, in a weird sort of way." He smiled. _

_"I don't know…" She still seemed skeptical. The only reason they were actually having this conversation was because they had received a call from a hospital in New York City. There was a patient suffering from an extremely rare disease. They were asked to come to the hospital, sit with the patient and possibly help her… _

_"Tell you what…" he raised his eyebrow at her, "I'll take you up there. I'll take you out, show you the sights. You'll love it."_

_She still looked at him skeptically but nodded her head. She couldn't really say no to such an offer… _

Patrick…

Arrogant, overly confident, successful, handsome, attractive…

There were so many times that he made her so angry she couldn't breath, she couldn't think straight. But then there were the times that he was the sweetest man that she had ever met. When the virus first hit the hospital, he cared enough to get her out of there… or at least try. When her father came back, he tried to understand what she was going through. He tried to help her. And he stuck around even when she gave him attitude, he never gave up.

Many would say the persistence was his best asset. He never gave up… not allowing anyone to die on his watch. He was always the first to take a risk and the first with an idea. He wasn't one for patience, he wanted action. He wanted results and he wanted them fast.

The past few weeks had been the turning point of their relationship. Their understanding and tolerance for each other had grown and when it came to patient care, they had called a truce. They had long since, agreed to not let their personal feelings and emotions effect them on the job. They were growing closer everyday, and getting to know each other better. They had been on a few dates and spent some time together even at the hospital. They really didn't know what they were doing together but that was apart of the fun. Not having any expectations, not having to worry about getting hurt or hurting somebody.

When they finally agreed to their treaty of peace, they worked great together. They were an amazing team together and they both knew they were going to be some thing great. Saving lives all before it was time to clock out.

She smiled as se stared out the window of the cab…

_We make a good team, you and I?" Patrick gave her a sly smile as they walked out of the operating room._

_"I guess so…" She relented. She to fight and argue like they normally did, but she couldn't anymore. She had been growing tired of the constant bantering. They were getting along much better now and there tolerance had grown drastically. She wanted peace. It was just too much energy trying to act like she hated his guts…_

_"Are you okay?" He asked suddenly, becoming aware of her sulky attitude and the look of exhaustion in her eyes._

_"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just a little tired…" She sighed deeply and rubbed the back of her neck, taking a seat in the nearby chair. _

_She was surprised when she felt his strong hands grasp her tiny shoulders. She thought about resisting but the heat coming from his hands stopped her. She slouched into his touch and closed her eyes, enjoying the special treatment._

_They both realized how right everything felt. Just a few short weeks before, they had hated each others guts, they had been almost enemies. Now here they were…which was where exactly?_

_"Dr. Drake, Dr.Scorpio…" A flustered nurse came around the corner, speaking urgently. She stopped only when she noticed Patrick's hands on her shoulders and looked between the two surprised. "Dr. Quartermaine needs to see you both right now. He says it's urgent."_

_They nodded their heads at the nurse who still regarded them surprisingly. _

_"Are you sure you're okay?" Patrick asked as they both climbed on the elevator._

_"I'm fine." She smiled and stood silently for a moment. "You were right… you do have amazing hands." She grinned fully at him, seeing his slight blush. _

_Their 'moment' was interrupted when the doors to the elevator opened and the chaos and noise from the emergency room was heard. They glanced at each other one last time, locking eyes before heading in separate directions ready to help save some lives._

And they really had thought that's what they were going to do. But no had expected the ferocity of this virus. It was like nothing anyone had ever seen before. It seemed half the town was infected before there was anyway to stop it.

The hospital was shut down. Quarantined. There were more and more people getting sick, they were running out of beds, patients were two to a room and lined up in the hallway. There was no helping them and no stopping this silent killer.

"Are you okay miss?" The cab driver asked, bringing her back to her surroundings.

She nodded and gave a slight smile. "Can you take me to this address?" She handed him a piece of paper.

"Sure thing."

She gave one more, small smile before retreating once again, into her thoughts.

She didn't exactly know where it all had happened. She just woke up one day and everything went to hell. In one day, the town of Port Charles had changed and would never be the same again, but she was also fighting her own battle away from the virus and the hospital…shock of shocks, her father was alive. He had returned from the dead. How exactly did she respond to that? She had grown to depend on herself for years, built up her protective wall, never let anyone in all because she had lost the one man she loved with everything she was at such a young age. And there had been many times when she had needed her father. She needed him when she fell in love and had her heart broken… when she was told she was HIV positive. He should have been there when she started high school and when she got her driver's license.

But he wasn't.

She really did want to forgive him. She wanted to let him back in and let herself love him but she couldn't. He had been "dead" for years and she had to deal with the shock of having him back in her life. That was enough in itself, but knowing that he _chose _to stay away…it was too much, too fast.

_"Can you just give me a chance to explain before you start judging me?" Robert's voice bellowed. "I hadn't meant for you to find out this way. I hadn't meant for you to find out at all… It was better for you when you didn't know."_

_"Better for me? You have got to be kidding me! I needed my father! I needed you and you weren't there!" _

_"At least you were alive. I knew that if I didn't do something drastic then I you were going to get hurt, you were going to be in the hands of my enemies and I couldn't handle that…"_

_"Business…" Robin stated coldly. She had grown used to hearing that excuse in the past and she hated it. She hated the word and most of all… she hated the men who used it as an excuse. It wasn't an excuse! If you love someone you find a way to be with them and see them. "Just do whatever it is that you came here to do, and leave." _

_She turned to leave but ran into a hard chest standing behind her. "What's going on? Are you okay?" Patrick asked concerned, already glaring at Robert. _

_"Patrick…meet my father. Robert Scorpio." She glared at him once more. _

_"I thought you told me that he was…"_

_"Dead." She finished for him. "He was. But surprise, surprise… he has been lying to me for fifteen years." _

_"I tried explaining everything to you but you wouldn't listen…" Robert tried to defend himself. _

_"Are you okay?" Patrick asked Robin, not bothering to listen to what Robert had to say._

_"I just-I just have to get out of here." She cried as she squeezed by Patrick and ran out the door. He sent one last look at Robert before running after her._

It was one of their best moments together. They had gone to the roof of the hospital and he held her while she cried and the best part… she didn't feel guilty afterward. She wasn't embarrassed. Somewhere along the way things had gotten comfortable for the two of them and they no longer thought about what the other might think. It didn't matter because it was obvious that they would be there for each other no matter what.

And she stuck to that promise… a week later when Patrick got a fever. It came on suddenly and before anyone realized it, he was the newest patient admitted to the hospital. And for whatever reason, the virus seemed to be affecting him quickly. They tried everything possible but just like all the other patients, nothing they did helped. They needed to find a cure; an antidote. Fast.

She wanted to help him. She needed to help him. Since the beginning of the whole ordeal he had been her rock. She needed a shoulder to cry on or just someone to talk to; he was who she ran to. Now he was fighting for his life and she was left to face it all alone. Now with the added pressure of trying to save his life.

_She walked into the silent room. The only sounds that could be heard was the steady beep of the heart machine showing that the form lying on the bed was still alive. He looked so pale, so lifeless. She grabbed at his hand and was surprised at how cold and clammy it felt. Lying in the bed in front of her wasn't the strong and fearless man that they all knew… no. He was so vulnerable, so small despite his large form. The exhaustion was evident on his face even while he was sleeping. He needed this rest. He had been running himself raged trying to help everyone and trying to help her. Why hadn't she noticed it before? She had been with him right before he collapsed. She knew something was off, but she didn't mention it and she pushed it to the back of her mind. Of course, he hadn't mentioned anything to her either. But she still felt guilty. If she had just paid a little more attention…_

_"Robin…" Patrick coughed as he came back to reality._

_"Shh, don't speak. You're in the hospital." She stated and felt his forehead with the back of her hand. Still burning up. _

_"What happened?" He choked out. _

_"You got the virus, Superdoctor." She teased him, trying to hide the worry in her voice. "You collapsed at the nurses station in front of everyone… you're always trying to show off." She sighed playfully, checking all of his monitors._

_"What about you? Are you okay? You really shouldn't be here…" He said all at once._

_"Shh… don't worry about me. I'm fine, I promise. Right now you have to focus on resting and getting better. The hospital won't know what to do if something happens to the amazing Dr. Drake."_

_"You make me sound like a circus act." He gave a weak smile. Even though he was in pain and he was as tired as hell, he wouldn't let himself fall asleep. At least not while she was in the room. "So… did you sneak a peak when I was changed into my gown?" _

"We're here miss." The cab drive spoke. Robin paid her toll and grabbed her bags. She stood outside the building, staring up as he pulled away.

She was finally here. And now she didn't want to be.

She sighed heavily as she looked at the front of the building and at the people walking by her, none of them paying attention to her. The building was tall, but then again, this was New York City. There were glass doors and a very well lit lobby she could see before she even walked through the door being held open by the doorman. She nodded to him as she entered and stopped in surprise. This place was beautiful. It certainly didn't look like an apartment building. There was a sitting area in the corner of the lobby with huge chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. He certainly had good taste.

She climbed on the elevator and let go of the breath that she hadn't known she was holding. This was it, no turning back now. She gripped the bags in her hands, feeling the heat from what was hidden in her pocket, radiating through the fabric of her jacket. She felt the elevator begin to rise and she felt the lump grow in the back of her throat. Suddenly, she was fighting the tears that welled up in her eyes. She hadn't expected for all of this emotion to come flooding through. It wasn't even really that big of a deal…

It seemed that the elevator was taking forever as the numbers slowly ticked away. 5…6…7…8.

_"Patrick, I already told you… I'm not leaving." She was persistent. "My father couldn't get me to leave and neither will you. I am a doctor and I am going to do my job…"_

_"You are putting yourself at risk! Why can't you stop being selfish for one minute and listen to me… go home." _

_"I'm not leaving…" She said trying to pass by him and check on her patients. _

_"Get in, or I will carry you in." He said as he grabbed onto her arm, stopping her from leaving him there. "Please." He pleaded with his eyes. He wanted her safe; he wanted her away from this hospital and this virus._

_"I can't…"_

The doors opened on the twelfth floor. She stepped and looked left to right. Right. She walked down the silent hallway, but she couldn't feel her legs moving. She didn't want to do this… she wasn't ready.

But she slid the eye in the lock and turned anyway. She took a deep breath as she turned the handle and stepped in. She was standing in his living room… it was exactly what she imagined for him. The typical bachelor pad, but surprisingly neater than she had expected. It was a large room with a flat screen TV mounted on the wall and a tower of CDs and DVDs on a shelf sitting below it. There was a nice leather living room suit. She noticed the art that lined the walls… beautiful. She turned around to find the dining room and the kitchen attached. There were candles and a bouquet of flowers on the glass table with place setting on in front of each chair. It was a room full of deep greens and yellows, with even more art covering the walls.

She walked slowly down the hall, noticing that her stomach was growing tight. She walked into the first room and saw total chaos. A definite change from the rest of the apartment. It was his office. There was a long desk in the corner with a computer somewhere in the middle amongst a barrage of papers. She noticed the couch against the far wall and the sliding glass doors. Her breath hitched as she took in the sights. She was so high from the ground but she wasn't scared, like she normally was. IT was just something about this apartment…it was comfortable; safe.

She stood staring at the last door. She couldn't bring herself to open it. This was his area. This was where he slept and where he woke up. This was where he held his deepest secrets. He only let the select few enter here… He explained to her once that he never brought women back to his apartment. It was only their apartment. Bring them home would be too much for him…

She gripped the door knob, fighting and losing her inner battle. She suddenly couldn't breathe and she felt the world spinning around her but she had to move forward. It was too late to turn back now; she had come too far and seen too much. She opened the door and saw it, staring at her on the nightstand beside his bed. How had he never mentioned that before? Why hadn't he mentioned it before?

She walked farther into the room, avoiding what she had already seen, not wanting to let it get the best of her. There was a bathroom connected to his room and he also had a balcony here. Once again she took in the view and smiled, knowing this is what he woke up to every morning. She went to his closet and pulled the doors open. His smell suddenly sent her into a tailspin. Her legs went weak and the tears she had been holding in so well, finally came from her eyes. She couldn't stop them any longer. Slowly, lightly she ran her hands across the clothes that found a home on the hangers. They all still smelled so much like him. This room still smelled like him.

Slowly she spun around and sat on the bed. She glanced again at the nightstand. It was really there. She hadn't been imagining it. She stood gingerly, walking to the table and taking the frame in her hands. If there was one thing that she found in short supply in this apartment it was photos. There was at least one piece of art in every room, but never any photos. Except for here…in her hands.

It the picture that she had given him of them at the Christmas Party at the hospital. Believe it or not, they were actually smiling. It looked like they were old friends and not the bickering children that they always seemed to be around each other. She wiped the warmth from her cheek as the tears broke free once again. There was no holding them back.

It was about time.

_"Robin…" He said barely above a whisper. "I-uh-I…" He stopped to catch his breathe. "I have to talk to you."_

_"Patrick, its fine. Just rest. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."_

_He shook his head stubbornly. "I want to thank you."_

_"For what?" She asked confused but she knew what he was doing. _

_"For putting up with me…" _

_"It has been my pleasure but let me tell you Dr. Drake, once you get out of here, you owe me." She said trying to keep her voice from cracking._

_"I'm not getting out of here…" He took another deep breath and continued. "Thank you for dealing all of my annoyances. I'd like to say that I'm sorry for them but I'm not." He gave her that smile that always managed to make her fall harder for him. "If I hadn't hit you so many times, I wouldn't have broken through that glacial exterior and seen the real you. The fact that you let me see that side of you…" He lifted his hand and wiped away her tear, "…means everything to me."_

_"Patrick…" She began but she couldn't finish. The tears were too much. "Thank you for not giving up on me. I pushed you away but you never gave up… you always pushed back. Thank you for showing me how to be me again. Thank you so, so much." She said earnestly. She couldn't believe that this was it. This was goodbye. "I love you, Patrick."_

_He smiled at her words. "And I love you." _

_Slowly his eyes closed and the silence was sliced open by the shrill ring of the monitor._

_He was gone._

She still dreamed about that day. Those last few moments that they shared. How ironic? They finally admit their feelings for each other and they are torn apart. It wasn't until the end that they finally expressed their true feelings for each other. It wasn't until it was too late.

_She sat in the hard pew in the front of the church with all of her fellow colleagues surrounding her. She stared at the coffin still in disbelief. They weren't here. They weren't mourning their loss. But they were…Dr. Patrick Drake was gone, forever._

_She stared solemnly at the coffin with his large picture standing next to it. He was giving that famous dimpled grin…his trademark. He was so alive and so…Patrick. She looked around at the other faces that filled the little church, amazed. So many had shown up to pay their respects. So many patients came to give one final thanks… _

_"Dr. Drake was an excellent surgeon." Alan's voice broke through her thoughts. "We were truly blessed to have team Drake with us at General Hospital." He glanced toward Noah, sitting next to Robin. "In his short time he worked with us, he touched many lives…" He shifted his glance to Robin. "And he will be missed dearly." _

_It was her turn._

_She stood slowly and walked to the podium, stopping to run a hand over his face in the picture. She turned and looked at the waiting faces before her. "Patrick was the best man I have met in a really long time." She took a deep breath. "He knew what he was good at he let everyone know he knew." Everyone shared a laugh. "Patrick died doing what he loved doing… saving lives. So many people didn't understand him but I had the chance to get to know him for the man that he truly was… He had a completely different side to him than what most people never saw." She wiped at her tears. "Most of you know that I was with him when he died… I told him this and now I want all of you to know. I love Patrick Drake." She looked at the picture and at the casket piled with flowers. "I love you Patrick."_

She snuggled deep into the blankets and pillows on his bed. She could feel him next to her. His touch was still so alive. His smell…

She couldn't fight the exhaustion any longer. She was finally where she was supposed to be. Now she was in control. She decided what she wanted wither future and how she wanted to live it. She was able to be herself again… and it didn't matter that Patrick wasn't with her physically. He was always with her... in her soul.


End file.
